


(Grind to the rhythm) as we wine and dine

by Daughter_of_the_TARDIS



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Cute, Doctor in a tux, F/F, Fluff, Idiots in Love, Space Wives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2018-11-10
Packaged: 2019-08-21 08:56:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16573529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daughter_of_the_TARDIS/pseuds/Daughter_of_the_TARDIS
Summary: “Lovingthe suit.” River said, her eyes widening as she finally took in what her wife was wearing.





	(Grind to the rhythm) as we wine and dine

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my beta, pure-ninja, who put up with me badgering her for days about this.
> 
> I've got three options for what the next 13/River fic is going to be. The options are: hospital, Rosa, and the Oncoming Storm. Let me know in the reviews if you want to see a specific one!

The TARDIS landed with a wheezing, groaning sound that the three humans were quickly growing used to. While traveling by TARDIS was a new experience for the Sheffield natives, it was one that they had all taken to with ease. What they weren’t used to, however, was the way the Doctor paled when she opened the doors, before quickly slamming them shut again. She moved so quickly that none of them were able to see exactly where they had landed, or what had the alien acting so strangely.

Yas looked at her suspiciously, head tilted slightly to one side as she stared at the Doctor with narrowed eyes. “What was that?” 

“What was what?” the Doctor asked in reply, looking at her friends with as innocent of an expression as she could manage. Not a single one of them bought it, much to her dismay. She quickly deflated under the unimpressed looks that all three humans were giving her. Stepping away from the doors, she gestured at them, letting Yas pull them open to see what was on the other side. Once they had all gone through she followed them, keeping Ryan in between her and the crowds of mingling aristocrats as a sort of human shield. She had a bad feeling about this place - or maybe it was just her social awkwardness reacting to the sheer number of people. Not to mention how smug the TARDIS had been when they arrived. The Old Girl was planning something, she could feel it in her bones. 

She filed that away for later, focusing instead on the excited looks on her friends faces. She already knew they would be staying for awhile, just from the looks that Yas and Graham were giving her. Ryan was giving her a pleading look on the opposite end of the spectrum - with his dyspraxia, dancing would be about as much fun as being stuck in a room full of stampeding Slitheen.

“Where are we?” Graham asked, looking around at the assembled crowds.

“Not where, when.” the Time Lord corrected. She looked around, throwing back her shoulders as she took a deep breath. Finally she smiled. “I knew this nose was good.” she grinned. “1783, New York City. The British Colonies have just won their independence a little over two years ago. Now, they’re settling down - having parties, raising babies, growing as a nation.”

“Can we stay here for a while?” Yas asked, looking excited. Her eyes tracked movement on the dance floor, and she swayed along to the melody the string quartet played. “Dance and things?”

The Doctor shrugged. “Don’t see why not.” she replied. “Just be careful - don't want to be executed for bein’ English.”

They all looked at her in shock, but Yas was the first one to say anything. “What, seriously?” she asked. They were all nervous, and Ryan looked like he was five seconds from running back to the TARDIS.

The Doctor waited a moment before letting her face break into a wide grin. “Nah.” she said, laughing at how relieved they all were. “But you really should’ve seen your faces.” she bounced on the balls of her feet a bit, looking at her friends in excitement. “Come on, then.” she told them, finally stepping out from behind Ryan as she made her way towards the crowds.

“Oh no.” Yas said, shaking her head. “If we’re goin’ out there, we’re doin’ it in style.” With that said, she grabbed the Doctor by the hand, yanking on her arm as she dragged her back onto the TARDIS. Ryan and Graham watched the pair in bemusement, but followed behind Yas anyway. “You said this ship is infinite, right?” 

“Of course she is.” the Doctor nodded, running her fingertips over the walls as they made their way through the corridors. “Best ship in the universe.”

“Then that means there’s got to be a closet somewhere, right?”

Even better - there’s an entire wardrobe room.” she said

“What, seriously?” Graham asked. The Doctor nodded.

“Take the first left, then the second right.” she directed. “The third left then head straight ahead. Under the stairs, then past the bins. The wardrobe is fifth door on the left.”

“Brilliant!” Yas said, tugging her along behind. “Let’s go, then.”

“Why do I have to come with you?” the Doctor yelped, not even bothering to fight as she was dragged through the halls of her own ship. Yasmin followed the instructions she was given, saying them under her breath as she walked.

“‘Cause I’m not lettin’ you out there dressed like that!” Yas shot back, turning the next corner.

 

“What’s wrong with how I’m dressed?” she asked, ducking under the bins - things had apparently gotten a bit shifted around when the TARDIS redecorated. None of her friends even bothered to answer, choosing to let their silence speak for them.

8888

As soon as Yasmin saw the wardrobe room, she froze. It was enormous - floors of clothing, all arranged by time period. A spiral staircase led up to each floor above them, and to the floor below them as well. “This is well swanky.” she said, and the Doctor beamed.

“Told you - my ship is amazin’.” the Doctor said, looking smug even as she ran her hand over the wall. The lights brightened for a moment before going back down, and Yas looked around nervously. Flickering lights were rarely a good thing, but the Doctor didn’t seem worried about it.

“This is the 1700s, so… third floor up, second to the fifth racks.” the Doctor instructed. “Shoes n’ things like that should be nearby, unless She hid them again.”

“She?” Yasmin questioned, already deep in the racks of dresses that the Doctor had pointed out to her.

“The TARDIS.” The Doctor explained, jumping around the room, picking up objects and putting them back down again. “She likes to change things up on me.”

Yas kept trying to drag the Doctor over to the racks full of swirling skirts and tight corsets, but the Time Lord knew what she wanted the moment her eyes landed on a suit that was remarkably similar to something her eighth self would have worn, in different colors. She dashed over to it, pulling it off of the rack and spinning around excitedly. “What d’you think?” she asked proudly.

“You can’t wear that.” Yas objected.

“Why not?” the Doctor asked, scrunching up her nose. She tilted her head slightly to the side, studying the outfit. It seemed fine - no stains or rips or alien parasites.

But Yas just looked at her like she had three heads. “Because you can’t wear a suit to a ball in the seventeen hundreds.”

“You met Rosa Parks wearin’ a leather jacket.” She dismissed, already pulling off her coat and shoes. “It'll be fine, Yas.”

She quickly took off the rest of her clothes, replacing them with the suit that she had found.

“What do you think of this one, Doctor?” Yas asked, showing off the dress that she had found. It was a pretty one - yellow roses - but the Time Lord focused in on the corset that went with it.

“Looks painful - how do you breathe with that thing?” She pointed out, shaking her head. “Not good for runnin’.”. 

Yas shook her head, carefully lacing the corset. The Doctor sighed, but stepped forward and quickly relaced and tightened the corset for her with deft hands. “I don't care.” her voice was slightly muffled as she slipped the dress over her head.

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” the Doctor told her, shrugging as she threw a blue and grey striped silk scarf around her neck. “Right.” she said, beaming as she grabbed a battered top hat off of a hatstand that had been tucked away in a corner. Smiling nostalgically at it for a moment, she brushed a bit of dust off the top of it before putting it on her head. “Let’s crash a party!”

8888

She had finally managed to get into the swing of things, staying on the edges of the dance floor. While she was sure that this body was at least more coordinated than her eleventh self was, she still didn’t want to risk it. She kept one eye on Graham and Yas on the dance floor - Graham was trying to teach the young PC how to do the complicated dance that they were doing - involving switching partners and complicated footwork - but she kept tripping over her skirts. The rest of her attention was focused on contributing to the discussion a group of older man were having on Treasury Secretary Hamilton’s affair. She kept trying to add into it, but they were ignoring her for the most part - she figured that it was probably because her adding in information about John Laurens wasn’t helping the discussion much. She was in the middle of trying to explain to one gentleman about the letters exchanged between Secretary Hamilton and Lieutenant Colonel Laurens when Ryan came running up. 

“Doctor.” He was slightly out of breath, and that, added to the way he said her name, let her know that something was seriously wrong. “Someone just broke into the TARDIS.”

That was enough to get her to pull away from the conversation - much to the relief of the men that she had been talking to, she noticed with a pout. But she shook that out of her head, focusing on the more important issue. “My TARDIS?” she asked, a hint of urgency in her tone.

“D’you know any other TARDISes?” 

“Fair point.” she conceded. “Go get Graham and Yas. I’ll head for the TARDIS.” Ryan nodded, and they split up.

As she ran, she started to panic. This regeneration hadn’t had the best of luck with her ship so far - first losing Her, then struggling to find Her again. After that it was the temporal displacement attacks by Krasko, which set her systems out of whack for a few days. Now there was this. She reached out to her ship through the telepathic bond that was between a TARDIS and their pilot, but the Old Girl didn’t seem to be worried in the slightest. No mauve alerts, no angry hums. If anything, the timeship seemed excited.

“What's goin’ on, Doc?” Graham asked, Yas falling into place next to him as they all raced towards the time ship.

She didn’t even look back as they ran. “Someone’s broken into my TARDIS.” Their feet pounded on the floor as they ran, Yas trailing along behind him. She cursed the dress that she had worn, constantly tugging at the skirts to try and keep from tripping over them.

“I saw them.” Ryan gasped the words out, tripping over his feet but catching himself before he fell. “they just walked right in like they owned the place.”

“It better not be Alexander again.” she snapped, pushing past finely dressed noblemen and woman. “I knew I shouldn’t have told him about what Lin was up to, but he was havin’ such a bad day…” the other three looked at her in amazement, but she didn’t even notice - the TARDIS was in sight. The ship looked fine, she reassured herself. The doors were shut, she was in one piece, wasn’t disappearing… everything was fine.

8888

She opened up the doors to the TARDIS carefully, making sure they were all quiet as they made their way inside. If the intruder was still here, they didn’t want them to know that they had been caught until the last possible moment.

“What is the matter with you?” a voice echoed around the console room, bringing back memories from long ago. “I just wanted to take a quick trip - he’ll never even notice we were gone.”

The TARDIS hummed, making the humans jump - it almost sounded like the Doctor’s ship was arguing with the mysterious thief. The Doctor had told them that her ship was alive, but they had never really believed her. Now, they were starting to reconsider that.

“Well you’ve never minded before.” the voice shot back, sounding irritated.

Ryan grinned, making sure to keep out of sight of the time rotor just in case the person came around. “Told you someone was here.”

“Who is that?” Yas asked.

Graham looked completely stunned. “Are they talking to the ship?”

But the Doctor didn’t even hear a single question they asked - she was too busy staring, mouth hanging slightly open.

Any anger that the Doctor might have felt at someone boarding her ship was wiped away the moment she heard that voice, and saw the mass of blonde curls bent over the console, stroking the time rotor with a concerned hand. Her companions looked on in shock at the woman who was - apparently - trying to steal the TARDIS. Her frizzy reddish-blonde curls were piled on top of her head in an elaborate style, and her lips were painted red. Her dress was a shimmery green, a wide bustle keeping her skirts back and accentuating her waist. The heels she wore - which, the Doctor noticed, were four inches tall and definitely not period-appropriate - clicked against the floor as she circled the console. It almost looked like she was dancing as she made her way around the controls, pulling off the movements with much more elegance and grace than the Doctor ever could.

“River.” The name came out as a reverent whisper, even as the Time Lord was frozen in place. The woman looked up from what she was doing, an expression of irritation and surprise on her face. That changed into alarm when the Doctor unfroze, charging towards the other woman. She crashed into the other woman in a hug that sent them both towards the floor. River groaned, looking at the blonde woman who had attached herself to her torso. She could feel the bustle of her skirts digging into the bottom of her spine, but was surprisingly okay with it if it meant that this stranger would stay pressed up against her like she was.

“Not that I don’t appreciate the warm welcome,” she began, awkwardly reaching to pat the top of the woman’s head. “But I usually prefer to at least know who it is that’s attacking me - not to mention how you managed to get in here.” the last bit of what she said was directed to the ceiling, in the same way the Doctor always did. Graham, Ryan, and Yas all looked between each other, trying to work out who this person was.

It took a moment, but the tiny blonde woman answered. “Give it a second and you’ll figure it out. You’re nearly as clever as I am.” Her voice was slightly muffled by the way her face was pressed into the bodice of River’s heavy gown, but the professor was still able to make out the words.

A wide, disbelieving grin spread across River’s face as she looked down at the - frankly adorable - woman plastered to her chest. Her suspicions were confirmed when she heard the content sounds the TARDIS was making - and saw a familiar top hat that had gotten flung halfway across the console room when they collided. “Hello Sweetie.” she purred, laughing breathlessly when the Doctor’s only response was to squeeze her tighter. “Someone's happy to see me.”

Her mumbled reply was so quiet that River almost didn't hear her. “Always.”

They laid there for another few minutes before the Doctor finally stood up, extending a hand to help her wife up off of the floor. “So what do you think?” she asked. 

River furrowed her brow, confused. “About what?” she asked.

Her wife looked at her in disbelief. “The new body.” she replied

“I can’t possibly judge yet.” River protested, fighting back a smirk as she smoothed down the lapels on the Doctor’s jacket. “I’ve only seen the face.”

That can easily be fixed.” the Doctor promised, staring at River with open devotion. It was enough to throw River off a bit - she wasn’t quite used to her spouse so openly admitting her affections. Not, she thought as she curled one hand around her wife’s hip, that she was against the idea. If anything, she was all for it.

“Oh, I can already tell this new body is going to be fun.” River purred, eyeing her wife appreciatively. “This you is much more open, my love.”

“Sorry,” a voice interrupted, and River looked over to see her wife's new companions staring at them in awed shock and fascination. “But would someone mind explaining exactly what is going on?”. The Doctor pouted as she untangled herself from her wife's embrace, only putting a few inches between them.

“Sorry, Graham.” She apologized, blonde hair flying around her chin as she turned to look at her friend. “Got distracted.” She was about to introduce her wife to her friends, but then she realized something much more important. “Hang on -” she pulled away from her wife, her hair swinging around her face as she moved. “You were tryin’ to steal my TARDIS!”

River gave her wife an innocent look that didn’t fool any of them. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, sweetie.” she said, moving around the console.

The Doctor followed after her. “Yes you do.” she insisted. “You were gonna steal my TARDIS.” she accused. 

River rolled her eyes, typing a command into the TARDIS controls and huffing when the Doctor followed along behind her, undoing everything that she did. “Technically she’s my TARDIS too - I have a key. It’s not stealing if she’s yours.”

The lights dimmed, brightened, and the ship hummed in agreement. The Doctor looked up at the ceiling, outraged. “Don’t take her side!” she said, flapping her arms a bit. It looked strange without her usual coat to add that extra bit of gravitas, but she still managed to mostly pull it off.

“Don’t be jealous, sweetie.” River hummed, patting the Doctor’s hand absently. “It doesn’t suit you.”

8888

Standing off to the side, Ryan, Graham, and Yas watched the couple in front of them like it was an exceptionally strange tennis match. “Are they… flirting?” Graham asked, leaning over so he could whisper the question to them without being overheard. Not that either of the arguing women would have heard him to begin with, he mused. 

I think so.” Ryan whispered back. “It’s a bit weird.”

“Who d’you think she is? The Doctor said she lost her family, didn’t she?” Graham asked. But even as he asked the question, Graham already knew the answer. It was written as plain as day in the way the Doctor watched the woman in front of her 

They were interrupted in watching the pair - and the Doctor and the woman were interrupted in their argument - by the sound of someone banging on the door. The sound echoed around the console room, making them all jump - except for River. 

“And that would be me - out of time.” she sighed, reaching into the front of her dress and pulling out a miniature pistol. She expertly checked it over, ignoring the Doctor’s spluttering.

The three humans looked worried, but even more so when River simply walked over to the door and opened it. “How dare you?” she said, sounding outraged as she gathered her skirts in one hand. Pasting on a flawless American accent, she stepped just outside the doors, keeping them cracked just enough so that the people inside the TARDIS could hear what was being said. “What business do you have in a ladies’ bedroom?”

The Doctor giggled, blonde hair flying as she threw her head back.

There was a moment of silence before anyone responded. “Our most sincere apologies, ma’am.” a man said stiffly, sounding mortified. “We heard reports of four loyalist spies running in here - one of whom was spreading scandalous rumors about Secretary Hamilton.”

The Doctor huffed, but didn’t say anything - she could already feel her wife’s glare from outside the TARDIS. 

“Loyalist spies?” she asked, and her disbelief was obvious. “In my bedroom? You cannot be serious.”

“Of course not, ma’am.” another voice denied. “We’ll leave you alone. Our apologies for the inconvenience.”

“There.” River said, smiling widely once the door had swung shut behind her. “That’s taken care of.” her heels clicked against the floor as she made her way back over to where the Doctor and her friends stood, staring at her in shock. Rather, the humans were staring - the Doctor just looked at her in what was probably meant to be disapproval. Instead, it was fond exasperation.

She crossed her arms over her chest, staring up at the woman in front of her. “River Song. What did you do this time?”

River looked offended, but the Doctor could easily read her amusement. “What makes you think I did something?”

“Because the TARDIS brought us here, and you’re here. And there were just soldiers chasin’ us.” the Doctor pointed out. “Normally that means you did somethin’ - usually illegal. Are you _sure you didn’t do anythin’_?”

“Absolutely nothing, sweetie.”

“River…” the Doctor warned, and River huffed, turning to face her wife.

“I may have tricked the Marquis de Lafayette into helping me out with a slight… issue.” she said, keeping her tone light even as she stared the Doctor down. “Nothing too serious, of course.”

Of course, her spouse didn’t see it that way. “River Song, you can’t just mess with history like that!” she said, running her hands through her hair. She gestured to her friends, who were standing there watching everything that was happening in fascination. “I’m tryin’ to teach them the rules of time - how’s it gonna look if I can’t get you to listen to them?”

River snorted. “It will look just like normal, of course. Besides, it's not as though i actually did anything wrong.” she leaned over the console, using a blank screen as a mirror to check her makeup. She pulled a tube of lipstick out of the folds of her skirt, smiling when the TARDIS pulled up a mirror for her. “Thank you, dear.” she said softly, stroking the Time rotor with a fond hand before bending over to reapply her lipstick.

“Nothing?” the Doctor asked, trying to paste a stern expression onto her face even with the puppy dog face she couldn’t seem to get rid of. “No sontarans, no pulse grenades?”

She carefully capped the lipstick, slipping it back into her pocket before she stood up. “Nothing.”

“No dragon eggs?” the Doctor asked, and her friends looked like their eyes were about to pop out of there skulls. 

River rolled her eyes. “Honestly, that was one time.” she sighed.

“That wasn’t a no, River.” the Doctor pointed out. “I refuse to be your accomplice this time - even if you bat your eyes. I’ve become immune to it.” she announced proudly. Then River smirked, and the Doctor’s expression faltered.

“Really?” River purred, fluttering her eyelashes as she leaned in closer. Her friends all watched in amazement as the Doctor blushed at the attention. A wide grin spread across Ryan’s face at the sight, but Yas elbowed him in the stomach before he could say anything about it.

“No, stop that.” the Doctor said, carefully backing away. River just followed after her, backing her into the console. “That's cheatin’.” she protested, although her eyes were firmly fixed on her wife’s lips. “Stop it.”

River leaned forward as the Doctor leaned back. “Make me.”

“Maybe I will.” the Doctor replied, a challenging look flickering over her face. Without wasting another moment she stood on her tiptoes, pressing her lips to her wife’s as her hands buried themselves in her curls.

The humans all looked away awkwardly as the two women stayed pressed against each other.

“I knew these legs used to be longer.” the Doctor murmured once they finally came up for air. She pulled away 

“ _Loving_ the suit.” River said, her eyes widening as she finally took in what her wife was wearing. As much as she loved the thought of her wife - and wasn’t _that_ a thrill - in a dress, she had to admit that the suit she was wearing fit her much better. It wasn’t a traditional tuxedo, but she wasn’t complaining - the waistcoat and scarf that she wore along with her jacket were much more suiting.

“I was thinkin’ of you when I put it on.” The Doctor admitted. “Thought you might like it.”

“Hang on.” The Doctor said, a smile stretching over her face as she stared in disbelief at her wife. “River Song, are you _blushing_?”

“Shut up.” River muttered.

“Not a chance.” She replied fondly, reaching out to tuck a curl back behind her wife's ear.

“Follow me, sweetie.” River purred, grabbing ahold of her wife’s hand as she pulled her towards the TARDIS doors. “I think someone owes me a dance.”

“Hang on.” Graham interrupted, taking a step forward. “Are either of you gonna explain what’s goin’ on here?”

“Right.” the Doctor blushed. “Fam, this is my wife. River, this is the fam - Ryan, Graham, and Yas.” she introduced them, not noticing the surprise on her companions’ faces. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’m gonna take my wife dancin’.” with that said, she grabbed ahold of River’s hand, and they ran out the door.

“I’m not imaginin’ this, am I?” Yas asked, looking at the men standing next to her. Slowly, they both shook their heads, although they didn't seem too sure either. The TARDIS hummed in a way that sounded suspiciously like laughter, breaking them out of their trances. 

They spun around on the dance floor, ignoring the scandalized looks that were sent their way. The Doctor pouted every time they switched partners, but grinned like an idiot every time her wife wound up back in her arms. Eventually the Doctor just stopped switching partners at all, keeping her arms wrapped around her wife as she directed them to the very edges of the dance floor. Their heads stayed close together, giggling to each other as they whispered things that no one else could hear over the music. It was like they were the only ones in the room.

The TARDIS Team stood off to one side, watching the pair. “So that’s the Doctor’s wife.” the words came out slowly, like even as he said them Ryan wasn’t quite sure that that was what had actually happened. “The Doctor’s… _wife._ ” he repeated. “The Doctor’s wife, who carries a gun and stole dragon eggs, apparently.”

“I don’t know which part surprises me more,” Yas remarked, her arms crossed over her chest as she stared at the two women on the floor. “that the Doctor is married, or that she’s married to _her._ ” Ryan nodded his agreement, but Graham fixed them both with a hard look.

“Leave her alone.” he scolded them, keeping his eyes on the “She deserves to be happy.” he waited a moment before saying anything else. “Although - this was not how I expected a ball in the seventeen hundreds to go.” he admitted, letting out a low chuckle. It was times like this that he wished Grace could see him now - out having adventures and doing all the things that she loved. 

“It’s the Doctor - did you really expect things to end any differently?”

8888

Meanwhile, River had finally worked up the nerve to ask the question that had been brewing since her wife and friends stepped on board the TARDIS. “Your friends don't seem surprised to see me.” She murmured, keeping her arms linked around the Doctor's neck as they swayed on the dance floor.

“I may have mentioned you.” the Doctor admitted, and if she noticed how her grip tightened slightly on her wife’s hips, neither of them said anything. They just danced.

**Author's Note:**

> If you'd like to see the Doctor's suit, go here:
> 
> https://i.pinimg.com/originals/bb/5b/c7/bb5bc7402f8b2268eaa8ca33c61a9b56.jpg


End file.
